Writing Group 6: A little Door

She noticed the little door one day when she was dusting the skirting boards. It looked so permanent, so much like it belonged there that she could not believe it had only just arrived. But it had to have. She dusted the skirting boards at least every week, generally on a Monday when the weekend rush was over and there was a little breathing space in the Hotel.
The door was brown stained wood, about half a foot high, the exact miniature replica of the main doors to the bedrooms; it even had a tiny key hole. She carefully crouched down and inspected the little door for a long while. She wanted to try and open it, see what was behind it, but she was scared. Scared she would break it with the shake of her old hands, scared of what may lie behind it and secretly, but strongly scared it was not real and this was one of the first signs her boss had been hinting at for a while now as her retirement date slipped past.
She wanted to take a photo of it, to have some proof of her lack of madness but her old camera was lying in a draw at home, four miles away and the phone in her bag was a brick which she had trouble texting on.
She needed to get back to work. Right now, the last thing she needed was mutterings about lack of speed in the housekeeping cupboard, the place of gossip and rumour.
Inspiration struck, she glanced quickly around to check she was really alone, she took a coffee spoon from the tray and using the end, gently tapped on the door.
Almost instantly it opened a crack inwards and a tiny, yet unmistakable voice issued forth.
“No room service today thank you. Please just leave two extra towels outside the door and we will collect them in a bit, thank you.”
And then the little door slammed.
She was so shocked; she fell backwards with a thump on her behind, not an elegant position for a lady of her age.
It was a room, a tiny room for guests at the hotel! Why had no one told her?
Indignity now she heaved herself up and shuffled over to the trolley holding the towels and the cleaning equipment. Very carefully she selected two flannels and rolled them into the tubes the bosses liked to see and placed them carefully in front of the door.
She finished the dusting and left the room, muttering to herself.
On the landing she passed one of the younger girls, who smiled at her.
   Dotty old dear, thought the girl they do like to employ charity cases here!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Writing Group 6: A little Door

  1. An interesting story that leaves me wondering: is the-six-inch-door real, how wide is it, whose was the unmistakable voice that came from beyond it, does the room have a bigger door since guests of the hotel stay there, what sort of guests are they, why does the young girl consider Dotty a charity case, which room did Dotty leave after she was through with the dusting, and is Dotty the fictional character Dorothy Gale?
    Is there another part to the story?
    The style is good, example the repetition of words such as ‘scared’. The very first line of the story made me want to read on. Dotty’s name being introduced only at the end is brilliant.
    The sentences lack a few commas here and there. Some typos that I picked up:
    Paragraph 2, second sentence, ‘she what was behind it…’ should be ‘see what was behind it’, I think. Third paragraph , ‘… the phone in her bad…’ I imagine should be ‘…the phone in her bag…’ Down to almost the second to last paragraph ‘Indignity now she heaved herself up…’ Did you mean to begin with ‘Indignant’? The sentence that follows ‘ Very carefully she selected two flannels and rolled the, into the tubes the bossed liked to see…’ I think you meant to put an M where the comma (,) is; ‘the,’ should read ‘them’.
    A good short puzzling story, well-written and reminiscent of Alice In Wonderland. I imagine it is a twist based on the life of an old Alice, seeing the voice from inside was tiny and familiar.

    Like

  2. Hello,
    Thank you for the proof reading, always appreciated!
    It is very interesting to hear your options and I like to leave some of the detail up to your imagination, it is interesting that is how you interpreted it!
    Thanks

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s