Writing Group 18: Things you only understand as a Brit living abroad.

• You get affronted when you see a single can of baked beans for sale at 3euros, even worse if it has a multipack label.

• You stop hearing the sexy foreign accent and then after a while a British one sounds strange.

• You still expect a reply when moving a heavy object with some one and you say “to me.”

• Having to endlessly laugh at the same joke about Britain, “Oh it is raining, you must feel at home.

• When you do go home for a bit, crossing roads become a lethal operation, cars just appear on the wrong side.

• Clothes and shoes seem to all have different sizes, bra shopping takes twice as long because of all the sizes you have to try on.

• You end up missing the most random things like, why can’t I just buy lined paper, I can’t write in squares!

• If you are not a football fan, having to explain to someone that just because you are from near Manchester, you do not support United or any other team for that matter.

• And then having to explain that you do understand the rules, as the said person launches into a “football for Dummies” speech, you know the rules by osmosis, it’s just like that in the UK.

• Then explaining the offside rule if they don’t believe you.

• Explaining you do not like beer, see above.

• Everyone wants you to give them an English lesson, all the time, please.

• Even if you do speak the countries language, as soon as anyone hears your accent, they switch to English so you end up having really weird bilingual conversation with a shop assistant who is insisting on talking to you in English whilst you are insisting on carrying on in the local tongue.

• Always forgetting that other languages have masculine, feminine, formal and informal at the critical time.

• If you work abroad, constantly being mistaken for a tourist or after that, patronisingly being told you must be a student then. No actually, I am a real person!

• Being shocked and offended the first time you hear the radio and realise they do not dub the explicit lyrics or swear words.
Add in your own in the comments!

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